Clueless or Careless? Who cares?! I'm giftless!?

I wasn't raised petty, but I can reconcile my feelings about my husband's professed forgetfulness anymore. I feel like I'm undeserving or uninspiring, or something. Twelve years, and seldom any gifts on the normal gift holidays (Birthday, Valentine's, Anniversary, Christmas). We've discussed it several times, about how unimportant it makes me feel to not even be taken out for a walk in the park...anything, free is fine! When he does remember to purchase something, he doesn't put any thought into it. The last present I got was a t-shirt, six sizes too large - after a year of weightloss (nearly 100lbs) that he HAD to have noticed. Today - Christmas - nothing. Tons of presents under the tree, all purchased by me, with my paycheck for him and our son. Nevermind we had another 'I'd like to have something to unwrap' convo two weeks ago - not a damn thing for me. I've tried talking, buying my own, and not giving him anything. What works? He apologizes, but always gets upset that I'm upset and I'm tired of feeling guilty about my material wants. No, we're not divorcing, but I'd love some hints as to how I can fix this. No, handing him a list doesn't work either.